1) People who post constant music videos from YouTube. Strategically posted with some sort of comment about how it's the "best song ever made" (pretty sure you said that last week about some old 90s banger a dodgy DJ would play whilst drunk at your second removed cousins engagement party), or some sweeping feeling statement about how this song cuts deep in your heart. Does anyone honestly actually sit there and play these music videos? I think about 1/10 times in my life have I ever though, "oh Claire* has posted another wonderful music video, must sit and listen and feel those feels". Come on though. We are all guilty of it.
2) People who always ask for stuff. To them, Facebook has become the next best thing to Gumtree or Craigslist. Preferably free or cheap usually follow their need for a washing machine or new Audi. Now I do not berate people being smart with their pennies but there is a line that needs to be drawn. Once in a while is fair enough but when you're looking to kit your whole house and the neighbours it does get a bit tedious, especially when you start become well known as that person.
3) The person dating an as$hat that makes us feel we are dating them too. She's cheated on you 6 times, why not do yourself and us all a favour and get rid of the idiot who is causing you so much misery? Obviously moaning on Facebook about it isn't solving the issue. There are only so many times we can sympathise before you take them back and act like it never happened until 5 weeks later when it happens again.
4) People who write constant passive aggressive statuses. Oh the irony of this statement from myself whilst writing this post. But some people really do seem to have such an issue with some of their Facebook friends, it makes you want to kindly point out the "unfriend" button but you're scared in case you're their next victim. This is the 8th post today Kelly* about someone's awful seflies they keep posting on there and how they need to take a trip to the local MAC counter and be matched with the correct foundation. We will never know who that person is though Kelly will we?! Sadly, nor will the victim. Ain't nobody got time for that. Except Kelly, of course who seems to have all the time in the World when it comes to analysing her Facey B friends who she probably added after bumping into them on a completely random night out.
5) The ghosty Facebook friends. They never speak to you, comment on your status or like your new profile picture but when you randomly bump into them in a pub on Christmas eve they will relay your whole life back to you via the statuses you've posted. "Oh I saw you where having trouble with your cat flap on June the 1st 2015 according to that status you posted on Facebook, well I suggest you do this..." Not creepy. At all.
6) People who have constant World changing ideas that we all need to know about daily. Fair is fair, nobody dislikes ideas but maybe once in a while you could go out there and put some ideas into action. It's all very well suggesting to us that we feed the homeless this winter, as long as you are actually practising what you preach. So many people mindlessly share viral posts about helping others but how many actually do something- honestly?
We are all a little guilty of being one of those annoying people on Facebook. Let us be real. But it doesn't mean we can't all get a little self righteous now and then and have a little rant? Either way I personally would not be without my little social network friend, until it sadly may in the future have the same fate as Myspace or Bebo. Oh I do hope not.
*The people mentioned in this post are purely hypothetical.
Jessica Martin
